New Year

What is up? Hope everyone had a happy new year. Our family doesn't really have any new years traditions, but one thing we do is watch the Japanese Red & White Songfest on tv every new year's day. In case you haven't heard about it, it's a completely dorky concert in Japan and they have top singers compete male vs. female in a big elaborate contest that's like five hours long. They have a lot of enka singers (that's the old Japanesey style) and new pop/rap singers too (yeah, the rappers are pretty sad and hilarious). Anyway, there are no subtitles so you just have to do your best to figure out what everyone's talking about, but that's half the fun, because Japanese people do some WEIRD things. So, in case you missed it, here is your official TOP TEN WEIRD JAPANESEIES THINGS I SAW ON THE RED & WHITE SONGFEST!

10. The "Lady-man" (as we call him/her) dressed in a 20-foot high red dress made out of color-changing lights who was singing a song about being a flower
9. The "Man-lady" with the really low voice (to match her really low hanging earlobes and earrings that touch her shoulders) sang a peppy little song in a long sparkly gold dress
8. Two guys with 1-foot high blond mowhawks singing "Can you master baby? master baby!"
7. One of those guys with the mowhawk accidentally ripping off the top of his hair during the song (he was bald underneath)
6. A group of (at least) 12 girlie-girls in shiny dresses bouncing around the stage and singing one line at a time
5. That same group of girlie-girls singing with two more girls dressed in big green skirts who were hugging, singing, and doing pelvic thrusts against each other in time with the music
4. Three separate Korean singers singing in Japanese: including that scary scary lady doing "the robot" with a big fan while singing into a fake microphone on her pinky finger
3. A big brown rectangle with eyes, a mouth, and sharp teeth, dancing with a green blob with no arms or legs and a whale tailfin on its head and a green blob WITH arms and legs AND a whale tailfin on its head
2. Too many androgenous girls with bowl haircuts and guys with plucked eyebrows and make-up and wearing skirts to count!

and the number one weirdest thing I saw on the Red & White Songfest was:

1. FLK! FLK! FLK!