Dance off!

I had a little bit of culturing this week (not the mold kind, the arts kind). I have decided that culture and I do not mix. Nah, well I had fun really, lots of new experiences so that was cool. Let's start with the first one:

Tuesday - Jass
Yes, it's spelt "Jass." Or, it might be "spelled" Jass. I'm not sure which one, but I don't really care, go SLPing! Anyway, here are some things that I learned about me and Jass:
1. I like places with tiny doors, which is strange because I really hate caves, and squeezing through tiny caverns is one of my biggest phobias.
2. 39 Hotel is neat, and surprisingly clean for being located on Hotel Street.
3. In order to play Jass, you have to start together and play a "melody" for 2 minutes, then play 10 minutes of "solos" during which time each instrument competes to see how many notes they can squeeze into their own 2-minute time slots, then everyone has to play together again for another 2 minutes before everyone gets too tired and they decide to stop playing (except for the drummer, who has more energy than everyone else so he can keep going).

Friday - Chorus
Keane's concert was neat too, this picture is from the parking lot where we paid 18 quarters and 2 nickels to park for 2 hours and 55 minutes (1 quarter = 10 minutes, 1 dime = 4 minutes, 1 nickel = 2 minutes of parking time).

Here are some things I learned about me and chorus:
1. If you don't know the words, just say "Haida."
2. If you don't know the words and the song is really fast, just say "hocus pocus hocus pocus hocus pocus."
3. Contrary to popular belief, singing at supersonic speeds while super-emoting with your facial muscles will not lead to spontaneous human combustion.
4. Kawaihao Church is scary, and looks an awful lot like the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.
5. The wooden pews in Kawaihao Chruch will NOT tilt back and a safety bar will NOT fall down and lock you into your seat and take you on a ride through the underworld.
6. Keane saves all his best singing for churches and only lets us hear his silly practice singing... yeah, that must be it.

Sunday - Dance off!
In case you don't know, my two little cousins have been dancers their whole lives. They started at Sabrina Starr Studios (in Wahiawa) but just last year (since they're in middle & high school now) they joined 24-VII Danceforce. Sabrina Starr always put on cutesy performances with lots of little kids doing ballet and jazz dances with some older kids doing some pretty darn good hip-hop stuff. 24-VII Danceforce is a big tonkin' production! I mean, it was really professional looking with video tech and pro lighting and everything, but there were some downsides. Here's what I learned about modern dance:
1. Dance moms and Dance dads have to yell their kid's names during performances instead of just clap.
2. Dance moms and Dance dads like it when their little hoochie kids get freaky on stage, I know this because they cheer and yell when it happens.
3. ALL male dancers must show their mid-drifts.
4. If any male dancer wears a shirt that goes below their pants line, they must find a way to lift, rip, or tear their shirt so that everyone in the audience can see that their low-rider pants ride just a little too low.
5. The goal of the male dancer is to be sluttier than the female dancers (mission accomplished, by the way).
6. After one year of dancing in 24-VII Danceforce, my 12-year-old cousin now knows all the gay jokes in the entire world.
7. After laying down a pretty sweet hip-hop slam (in track suits, not half-buttoned vests), all male dancers must immediately prance around the stage like girlie-fairies (in half-buttoned vests) in the very next dance to establish the fact that, "No, you cannot be a super cool hip-hop dancer and not be gay."
8. My dreams of becoming a super cool hip-hop dancer have suddenly come to an end.
9. Female dancers are either really hot and can't dance, really skanky and rock the stage, or CAN dance because they used to be guys (my uncle confirmed this one).
10. It is very disturbing when you can't figure out if your little cousin is the girl on the right with the torn fish-net stockings or the one on the left with her butt sticking up in the air.

As you can see, a bunch of eye-opening experiences for me this week. Fun? Yes. Disturbing? Yes. Eh, but y'know, I'd probably go and do it all again, just so I can write this blog, yay. Originally this blog was going to be a lot saltier, but my mood suddenly changed with today being my LAST DAY OF UH CLASSES EVER! I'm starting to see the world from a very different perspective. The skies are bluer, the birds sing sweeter, the half-naked gay dancers don't look quite so appalling and I find new appreciation for the words "hocus pocus." What will my life be like without UH? The possibilities are endless. Enjoy life everyone, love, peace, and happiness, I feel like a hippie, is this what normal people who don't have school feel like? It feels so magical, like a unicorn, no wait, like a daffodil, or maybe more like a maui taco, yes, it feels like a maui taco... baby!